Being Asian, specifically Korean, I get that question a lot. I know that people are just curious and I don’t mind if you ask, but I do mind when you follow up with something like, “But your English is so good!” or a badly accented “Ahn yeong ha say yo!”

I don’t expect you to have extensive knowledge about Asians, but I’m still surprised at how people can still be pretty ignorant. Example: I was at an office holiday party a few years ago and we had invited a few other departments. I happened to wander over to a co-worker (who I’ll call MP) talking to a new employee I hadn’t yet met. I don’t remember the new guy’s name, but I’ll just assume it’s Jeremy, because I recall thinking he looks like he would be a Jeremy.

Me: Hi, I’m Jane.
Jeremy: Nice to meet you. So, where are you from?
Me (a little confused by the question): I live in Queens.
Jeremy: No, I mean, where are you REALLY from?
Me (finally getting it): Oh, I’m from Korea.
Jeremy (starts to look interested): North or South?
Me (laughing a little): South Korea.
Jeremy: Are you sure?

Wait, really? You actually think I don’t know where I come from?

Me: Very sure. But trust me, your chances of ever meeting anyone from North Korea are VERY slim.
Jeremy: I knew a Korean girl when I lived in Chicago

Okay, this is another one people used to say to me pretty often. “I know a Korean person when I lived in [insert location here]. Maybe you knew them?” Unless that person lived in NYC, went to school with me, and was in my year, it’s highly likely the answer is no.

Me: Oh, that’s nice.
Jeremy: Her name is Jenny Kim. Maybe you knew her?

For those of you who might not realize this, Jenny Kim to Koreans is the equivalent to Jane Smith to Americans. I knew two people who used to live in Chicago, but it’s safe to say they’re not Jenny Kim, because one is a Christine and the other is a Suzannah.

Me: I’m pretty sure I don’t know her. Oh, have you met Jennifer? She’s Korean too.

So yeah, I pushed this guy off onto another co-worker. I found MP later and told him, “You know, that guy Jeremy is a little on the weird side?” MP’s answer nearly made me fall out of my chair: “I know. I couldn’t take it anymore so that”s why I pawned him off onto you.”